hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

The ‘yes or no’ game.

You can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly, but only with yes and no.

satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

niggayougay:

MAN I WISH I WAS HOT ENOUGH TO MAKE SOMEONE SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED

molegan:

number 1 rule of life

• i like my favourite player more than u do